TV and Me

There are so many many people out there who tell you that it’s not okay to let your children watch tv.  They tell you that it stunts their learning, turns them off from reading, and messes them up socially.  They tell you that if you let your toddler watch tv you are a bad parent.

So what does that make me?

My child watches an hour and a half of tv per day-and I wouldn’t change it for the world.  Every morning at 10 am my son sits down with his morning snack [cheese and and a juicebox] and watches Blues Clues, Yo Gabba Gabba, and Wonderpets all in a row.  Sometimes, when I want to get rid of some especially pesky brain cells, I even let him watch Baby Einstein or Veggi Tales after nap.

What does that make me?

In my opinion, that makes me normal.  It makes me human.  I think a lot of people expect parents to have super-human patience and nerves of steel, but the fact is that just because I a mommy doesn’t make me Mother Teresa-or Wonder Woman [no matter what my son thinks].

I cannot make the house clean if someone else is simultaneously destroying it.  I do not possess the super lightening speed to do that.

I cannot make lunch, pay bills, call the doctor, clean the kitchen, and amuse my child at the same time.  Unless he is amused by multitasking….which he happens to find insufferably boring.

And finally I cannot spend 24 hours a day 7 days a week completely ignoring my own need for quiet time.  I have already forsaken alone time [every mom knows you cannot even pee by yourself when you have a 3 year old]-I simply do not have the super-human mental abilities to stay sane without a break. 

So if making lunch, paying the bills, calling the doctor, cleaning the house, and enjoying some relatively quiet time while my son is entranced by superhero classroom pets makes me a terrible parent then so be it.  I don’t think I’d want to be different anyway.

My Many Accomplishments

It might be said by some [including myself] that I avoid people that I knew in high school like the plague.  Not because I think they are bad people-some of them are and some of them aren’t just like any other random group in the population-and not because I am embarrassed about myself, my family, or my life.  I actually like all of those things, and think that I have done an exceptional job in all three categories so far.  No, the reason I hate running into people from high school is because they almost always have the same questions and the same reactions to those questions.

What have you been up to?

Oh….really….isn’t that….nice.

And they mean “nice” like ”I not-so-secretly think you’re an idiot”, not nice like awesome.  While these people that I run into tell me about their accomplishments-graduating college, getting some type of out-of-the-home career [I believe SAHM is a career too!], some of them buying their first homes and/or traveling the world, I always nod politely and tell them how wonderful it is that they did so well.  I always knew they would-etc. etc. etc.  But when it comes time for me to tell them about my life they always have a problem with it.

Most people are at least silent in their contempt and disapproval, which I suppose is better than nothing, but I have actually had people tell me that I could have “done so much more” with my life.  I happen to think I did exactly what I wanted to with my life and so that makes my accomplishments just as wonderful as theirs-even if it isn’t as glamorous and doesn’t pay as well.

I am a mom-that means I work 24/7 for no pay.  A lot of people wouldn’t do that.

I am a stay at home mom-that means that I have enough dedication to live in the land of my 3 year old.  That’s like living in a house run by an angry taxicab driver who speaks only broken english.  I have enough guts to spend my entire day rubbing PB&J out of the carpet, wiping poo out of his hair [he's still pottytraining!], making him 3 meals and 2 snacks, cleaning the house twice, and generally chasing him around while trying to simultaneously teach him morals, manners, reading, writing, numbers, colors, shapes, songs, and basic life skills like how to brush his teeth and drink from a cup without a lid.

I am pregnant-While that’s not an accomplishment in itself, it does make my daily life just that much harder…somedays getting out of bed is an accomplishment, depending on how sick I am.

I have many accomplishments, and I accomplish many things every day, but those accomplishments-having dinner ready on time, getting my three year old to take a bath without a fight, teaching him a new song about animals, my son going in the potty once or twice that day, how much my son and husband love me, and how happy my husband is at the end of the day-are not generally the type of accomplishments people my age care about unless they have families of their own.  Most of the people from my high school don’t have families-so they don’t think my accomplishments “count”.   They very rarely even understand them. 

It is a little disheartening to tell someone about accomplishments that you are so proud of and have them look back at you blankly or tell you straight out that they think your accomplishments are unimportant.  Especially when those little things are what you are most proud of and apart of your lifelong dream.

That’s why I don’t talk to people from highschool-our definition of “accomplishment” is just too different.

My Baby

I am very excited about the new baby.  I am excited to hear their little heartbeat for the first time on next Friday’s appointment.  I can’t wait to find out if we’re having a boy or a girl, and I definately can’t wait for them to be born and to finally see our sweet new baby’s face.

But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I am a little sad too.  My son may be three and a half, but even now to me he’s still my little baby boy.  I have enjoyed having all this time just us-my husband and our baby and I.  Having our newest little one is the beginning of a wonderful new part of our lives, but it’s also the end of a very special time being mama to just my sweet little boy.  I am sad because I know that he will get less attention than he does now-no matter how hard I try to give him as much time as possible.  I am sad because I am afraid that our bond will not be as close as it is now. 

I know our bond will be just as strong, but there is no denying that everything-including my relationship with my baby-will change once we bring in this new little person into our family.  My baby will become my oldest, and there’s a big difference in that. 

I am always telling people about all the things no one ever tells you about pregnancy and parenting-and this is definately a big thing that no one ever talks about.  I can’t be the only mother to ever be a little sad to see their family change for the new baby while simultaneously being thrilled to bring another baby into their lives…but no one ever talks about it.  No one ever tells you-so it never even occurs to you that you might feel that way until you find yourself having your second baby.

All I can say is that I’m glad I have 9 months to get used to the idea.

You Can Keep Your Darn Crackers

I wanted the very first post on my blog to be something fun and possibly informational.  What it is however is a warning-I guess that is information of some kind.  I am informing the general population that if one more person tells me that crackers will cure my morning sickness I am going to punch yell at them.

Saying that crackers can fix morning sickness is like saying that a Band Aid can fix being pierced in the back by a whale harpoon.  Unreasonable, don’t you think?  And yet that is the first thing out of people’s mouths when you tell them that you have morning sickness-eat a cracker.  Maybe two.  Then you won’t even feel it at all.  How do you think two Band Aids would help your harpoon injury? 

And while I’m at it-ginger, peppermint, lemons, toast, chicken soup, club soda, cinnamon gum, cold washcloths, laying in the dark, sea sickness bands, and acupuncture probably did not work if crackers didn’t.  Let’s just say that by the time a pregnant woman is stuck to her bathroom floor she’s already tried all of that and if it had worked she wouldn’t be torturing herself with the smell of the toilet bowl she shares with her husband.

Don’t get me wrong-there are some women who have very mild morning sickness and for them crackers may work.  There are even some women who have no morning sickness at all-and we sickies want to be them-who may feel free to eat whatever their hearts desire, including but not limited to crackers.  But don’t you think all of these women-from the perfectly fine to the abismally sick-have already eaten crackers, based on the recommendation of one of the hundred or so people before you that mentioned them.  It is very likely her own doctor even suggested them right after they told her she was pregnant…most doctors do.

While it may upset me very much, and I may even be kind of  really angry about it, it’s actually normal for you to suggest crackers.  I don’t want anyone feeling bad for trying to be helpful.  The truth is everyone-doctors, nurses, various “guides to pregnancy”, online sources, and even women who have been through it-all suggest crackers as a first step.  And for the women who have normal morning sickness [which involves mostly nausea and very little actual vomit] crackers are great as a quick fix. 

However, what most people don’t know is that some women experience something called hyperemisis.  It’s like the mother of all morning sickness and often results in hospitalization.  These women who get hyperemesis [of which I am now a two-time veteran] often cannot drink water, brush their teeth, or even smell anything whatsoever without loosing their cookies-and then their stomach bile.  They throw up without even having food in their stomach.

So please-if you know someone who cannot brush their teeth without vomiting until their throat bleeds [true story!] do not look at them [or me, who has lost 26 pounds in 12 weeks of pregnancy due to morning sickness] and tell them to eat a cracker.  It will most likely make them very cranky and might even make them cry.  Just pat them on the arm and tell them you love them and that eventually they will have the baby.

And that is the only sure-fire way to get rid of morning sickness.